Introduction
Problems and obstacles are all part of life. Some of these obstacles may be challenging, unfair and difficult. One thing for sure is that these obstacles will keep on coming. This book gives advice on how we should view and what actions to take when we are faced with these problems and obstacles and how to successfully overcome them.
Overcoming obstacles is a three step process of perception, action and will. It begins with how we look and our attitude towards our problems. Then what actions to take so we can turn them into opportunities. Lastly, developing an inner will that allows us to handle failures and difficulties.
Part 1 – Perception
What is perception? Perception is how we see and understand the world and all events happening around us. Basically how we interpret and what label we put on all things and problems happening, such as event A is bad and event B is good. Our perception of the world can be a source of strength or weakness.
Seeing opportunities in obstacles is a skill that needs to be trained. It requires practice to be able to change ones attitude from ‘this is bad’ to ‘how can I make this good?’.
Practice Objectivity: When something happens we can say “this happened and it is bad”. This one statement contains two parts. “This happened” is a true fact, it’s objective and it happened. “It is bad” is our own perception, we’ve judged and labeled the event. We have turned an objective event into a subjective one. We can’t control the first part, but the second part can be changed by changing our perceptions. We can’t control what has happened, but we can control how we react. There is the event itself and the label we put on it about what it means.
When we encounter a big problem some things to keep in mind is to stay objective, control our emotions and keep calm, place things in perspective, stay in the present moment (do what can be done now) and focus on what can be controlled.
Control Your Emotions: When something happens we need to spot our initial emotion and then ask this is helpful or not. If an emotion can’t change the situation we are dealing with, it is likely an unhelpful emotion and possibly even a destructive one. If the emotion doesn’t benefit the situation then first recognise it and then get rid of it.
Part 2 – Action
If we are not happy with our current situation in life the only way to change it is thorough taking action. There will be no change without taking action. Just any action is not good enough, but the action has to be directed with the purpose of solving the obstacle. Step by step, one directed action at a time we can slowly overcome the obstacle. Everything we do matters and everything is a chance to do and be our best.
It is common to say something like “I’m so stressed and busy” or “I have no time”. And then what do we do? We go out and treat ourselves or sleep in or just wait and do nothing. In the moment it feels better to ignore out problems but deep down we know it’s not going to make the situation better. We also know that the only way to overcome the obstacle is to put time into it. When we meet an obstacle we should always meet it with energy, persistence, strategy and an eye for opportunity.
Whether we feel ready or not or how the conditions are, just get moving. Hard and persistent work will pay off in the long run, see it as investing in the future. It’s okay to be discouraged but it’s not okay to quit. Keep on working towards your goals. All great achievements in our world is the result of persistent work. Genius often is just persistence in disguise. When someone asks us how are problem or situation is going the answer should be: “We are working on it. We are improving. We are getting closer.”
Every time we execute an action there will always be some kind of feedback. It’s important to listen to the feedback we get back from our actions. If the feedback is good then keep doing what I’m doing, or even better try improving. If the feedback we get is bad then ask yourself: “What went wrong?” or “What am I missing?”. The feedback can be seen as an instruction that tells you where to go and where not to go in order to reach your goal.
It is common that people settle for less because their goals seems too ambitious and far away. If the obstacle is too big then break it down into smaller pieces. Then deal with the small problems in front of you and come back to the others later.
Everything is not always going to work out as planned. Some obstacles are just impossible to overcome and this is where a strong will comes. To develop the correct mindset for failure and setbacks.
Part 3 – Will
What is will? Will is our internal power, which can never be affected by the outside world. Will is our final resource when everything else has failed. Will is our ability to accept whatever happens and be fine with it. Will is what keeps us going no matter what is happening around us. When we are placed in an undeniably negative, we can turn it into a learning experience. That’s will power. But that needs to be cultivated. To build a strong will we must prepare for more difficult times, manage our expectations and learn to accept our fate whatever happens.
By anticipating and preparing for more difficult times we are less likely to be surprised and hurt when they happen. By planning for difficult times we can avoid them entirely.
The one way to guarantee we don’t benefit from failure is to not learn from it.
If something bad happens, remember that it can always be worse.
After you accept that some bad things will likely happen and it might be outside your control, here is the big one: Love whatever happens to you and face it with unfailing cheerfulness.
If you are going through difficult times remember that it is not the first time it happens. Thousands of people have felt the same and had the same thoughts. If you can’t solve your own problems then ask yourself how can I make it better and contribute for others?
Amor Fati – Love everything that happens: We can’t choose what happens to us but we can always choose how we feel about it. In order to not get too affected by external events, try too love and find joy in whatever happens, even if it’s good or bad.
Momento Mori: Remember that you are mortal and one day you will die. Reminding ourselves of this can make us feel more grateful for being alive and take better care of our time.
The law of nature is that it never stops. Just when you think you have successfully overcome one obstacle, another emerges. Understand that each battle is only one of many. Let’s keep trying our best everyday. Stay calm, always in control, and be thankful for the opportunity to prove yourself and be your best.
Quotes From the Book
- The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.
- Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.
- A decade earlier, a century earlier, someone just like you stood where you are and felt very similar things…a century from now, someone will be in your exact same position, once more.
- One does not overcome an obstacle to enter the land of no obstacles.
- Rehearse, in your mind, what could go wrong. – The person who has rehearsed in their mind what could go wrong will not be caught by surprise.
- Whatever we face, we have a choice: Will we be blocked by obstacles, or will we advance through and over them.
- There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.
- We don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we can always choose how we feel about it.
