Take the Stairs Book Summary

Introduction

This book shares advice on what successful people do and the mindset they have in order to succeed in life. Success is subjective and different to everyone but achieving whatever success we want is almost always through developing self-discipline. It explains this process through a 7-step process. There are some very good ideas on how we should be thinking and view things, like hard work, included.

The reason why a person feel like they are failing or not living up to their full potential in life is not because society is putting pleasure on them but because they feel like and know that they are not living up to their own standards. This standard is set by themselves and might have been influenced by society but the choice of having this standard is totally their own.

Why Self-Discipline Is Important

Most people are always looking for the easy way to do things and for things to be easier. They don’t want to make sacrifices and instead do things that give short-term pleasure. Procrastination has become acceptable since everyone is doing it.

But this kind of behaviors will makes things worse in the long run because we lose the ability to do difficult things that we don’t want to do, which is in other words, we lose our self-discipline. That is however what success requires, doing things that are difficult and important, even when we don’t feel like doing it, over a long period of time.

Self-discipline is one quality that will guarantee you greater success, bigger accomplishments and more happiness in life. Self-discipline is the cure to addiction, procrastination and distractions. Self-discipline is a habit, a practice and a way of living.

A change happens when we become more self-disciplined. You look forward to do the things you once didn’t want to do and the things that were once a big sacrifice to give up won’t even be temptations.

There are two activities in life: things we want to do and things we don’t want to do. If we can can make ourselves to do the things we don’t want to do then we have created the power to achieve the results we want in life.

The habit we want to develop is whenever we are faced with two options, we should always choose the hard long-term choice that is right over the easy short-term choice that is wrong.

The seven strategies for self-discipline are shown below.

1. Sacrifice

It’s common to ignore problems and pretend that they aren’t that big of a deal. What happens is that problems usually compound and and the result is that we get an even worse program. Problems that are procrastinated are only amplified and we are the ones to pay the price.

There are two parts in our brain that is activated when we make decisions. One part of the brain is processing our emotions and impulses and it’s encouraging us to make choices on what feels good. The other part is more analytical and is instead asking us to think more logically. These two forces are constantly fighting against each other when we make decisions.

Most people know what they should do but they also know what they feel like doing. Most of time, our emotions and feelings outweigh our logical considerations during decision making which is why many people make decisions based on their emotions. Most of us makes decisions this way because we want our life to be easy and the things that makes us feel good are usually easy to do.

Successful people know that making decisions based on what feels good right know is usually a bad choice and most of the time leads to more work later. They know that in order to succeed and create an easy life, it requires them to do some difficult and challenging tasks here and now. What they also know is that these difficult tasks sometimes only need to be done for a short amount of time or are only difficult for a short time. Once they are completed they can move on to other things.

The pain paradox in decision making: short-term easy choices leads to long-term difficult and short-term difficult leads to long-term easy. They know that in the long-term it’s the logical considerations that matter the most.

Every day we need to make many decisions which goes through the same process, the easy choice that feels good or the logical difficult choice that does not feel good. Success in life most often does not come from making big decisions but is usually the sum of many small decisions which compounds. Success is a matter of a choice. Pay the price now and the rewards will come later. Making difficult choice will just keep becoming easier and easier until it eventually becomes automatic.

Procrastination is one of the most expensive costs in life we have. For example a physical health issue that is ignored will cost you a lot in the future. Or if you have a dream you keep putting off will cost you a lot of peace of mind. It starts by realizing that a short-term sacrifice isn’t really a sacrifice at all but a down payment on a good future.

2. Commitment

Principle of commitment: The more we have invested in something, the less likely we are to give up and let it fail.

Things get difficult for all of us. The people who turn back and give up when things get difficult will never succeed. Their thinking is usually for example: “I’m not sure this is the right time.”, “I’m not sure this is the right job.” and “I’m not sure this is the right person.” All this doubt causes them to ask a lot of “should I?” questions. For example “Should I keep going?”, “Should I look at something else?” and “Should I leave this person?”

The main reason why people quit is because quitting will return them to their normal state. They fear the unknown and prefer to go back their normal conditions and state. Here everything is familiar and comfortable. They then start again from the beginning and when things get difficult they will quit again and be back at the same start. The attitude of “I’m not sure” and self-doubt can be dangerous for success.

Of course we should leave something if there are just too many red flags or if you are completely miserable and sad all the time.

Another reason people quit is because there are just no consequences in quitting. So the advice is to continuously introduce new consequences. The consequences need to be continuous because the pain of a consequence fades as time moves on. For example if you bought something for 1000 USD, the first few days after quitting might be difficult because it felt like you lost the money but eventually you will forget it and be back to normal.

“Winning is a habit, unfortunately so is losing.”

How To Commit to Something?

The difference is the question we ask ourselves. Instead of asking a “Should I?” question, we ask a “How will I” question. Instead of “Should I quit this job?” becomes “How can I become good at this job and make it work?”. Instead of “Should I quit this relationship?” becomes “How can I make this relationship work?”. Instead “should I keep going?” becomes “How can I fix this problem and move forward?” Our mind will become activated and give us solutions when we ask ourselves “how” question. Changing from the question “Should I?” to “How will I?” is the mindset shift that makes all the difference.

3. Focus

An important step towards improving or self-discipline is improving our focus. If we have diluted focus, we get diluted results.

Two Types of Procrastination

1. Classic procrastination – Consciously delaying what we know we should be doing.
2. Creative avoidance – This is that we are filling up the day with small activates to make us feel busy and productive just so we don’t have to do the things we should be doing. You do things that results in almost no progress. “The amount of busy work will always expand and fill all free time available.”

There will always be more things to do. So an important skill to develop is to know what things not to do.

If you have a lot of negative self-talk the recommended solution is to counter it with positive self-talk. This might feel weird in the beginning but should be given an try just to test it out.

It’s also recommended that our first and last thoughts of the day should be insipring, postive and motivating.

The Myth of the Finish Line

This is that we think there is a goal or something that awaits us that will give us everlasting fulfillment. It will feel good when we achieve a goal but this feeling won’t last. The fact is that there is no real finish line because there will always be the next thing we will be looking for. So it’s instead all about enjoying the process and the daily grind and get fulfillment from that.

What Is Attitude?

Our attitude is simply the way we choose to see things. Two people can look at the same thing and interpret it differently. One can see it as something positive and the other as something negative. Our attitude is important because how we see things affect how we feel and act. Our attitude should overall be optimistic.

There Are Three Ways To Make a Person Do Something:

1. Asking them to do it.
2. Forcing them to do it.
3. Help them recognize for themselves that it’s in their best interest to do it.

4. Integrity

Many people don’t realize the impact their words have on other and themselves. All creation follows a simple pattern: You think it, you say it, you act it, it happens.

Positive Ways to Strengthen Your Word

1. Give compliments – Compliments are powerful because when we genuinely acknowledges someone for doing a good job it makes them feel good and gives them the feeling they are right. Almost everyone wants to be right. It’s important that the compliments are real, genuine and well deserved and not just random sweet talk.
2. Walking the walk – Doing what you say you are going to do isn’t enough. You have to also not ask other people to do things you wouldn’t do.
3. Holding people accountable – Many people want to improve. This can be done by holden them accountable. The most effective way to encourage positive change is to remove our own judgements and feelings and just to remind them of who they wanted to be. Some examples are:
   1. I know you well enough to know that you really don’t want (insert activity), but what you really want is (insert activity).
   2. It makes me disappointed / sad when you (insert activity).
   3. (insert activity) doesn’t help you get where you want to be.

Keep in mind that this can come across as being passive aggressive so try to not to be like that.

Negative Ways to Weaken Your Word

1. Breaking our promises – When you break a promise, you let someone else down and you also damage you own credibility.
2. Uncontrolled language – Many people don’t think about the impact their words can have on others. It’s recommended to not be mean, talk bad about others or make a joke that might hurt someone. We will usually feel bad afterwards when we do this. If what you say hurts someone, it will probably hurt others too.
3. Creating back doors – This is that a person uses weak language to avoid commitment. They use weak language to avoid feeling bad and save face if they were to fail. They will usually use language like “I should be able to” and “I’ll try to” and never use decisive language like “I will do it”.
4. Previous negation – This is that when a person negates what they previously said with a “but”. This can for example be when giving a compliment. For example: “You were great, but if you could do X that would be better.” For the listener, everything before the “but” becomes pretty much meaningless. We might think we are softening our criticism but what we are really doing is weaking our compliment and our word and reputation in general.
5. Using too many word – We should use less words if possible because then there is less room for mistakes. Tell everything they need to know and not a word more. If someone has to talk a lot, that means they probably don’t know what they want to say. Listen first, process the information and then respond.
6. Intellectual dishonesty – This is that we allow someone to believe something is true when we know it’s false. This can for example be done by leaving out information to make the other people believe something is true. For example: If someone ask “can I work Fridays from home?” and you answer “It’s possible for people to work from home.” but you know this does not include them because they are new. The answer is very general which can make the other person interpret it as being true.

The Importance of Small Private Victories

If we do something we know is right, like picking up something that we see has fallen down or correcting something that is out of order we will get a small private victory which feels good. When you do right, you feel right. When you feel right, you think clearly. When you do wrong, you feel wrong. When you feel wrong, you think unclearly.

It’s the small private failures and acts that we know are wrong during seemingly insignificant opportunities and moments that adds up which leads to failure for most people. Likewise, it’s the small private victories that adds up which makes a person great. Integrity and self-respect is built by making sacrifices when no one is watching.

6 Rules to Keep In Mind When Speaking

1. Think before you speak.
2. Choose your words carefully.
3. Do what you say you will.
4. Be where you promise you will.
5. Resist the urge to use emotional charged and uncontrolled language.
6. Assume the “mic is always on” and everyone can here what you say.

5. Schedule

The law of effort: Focused effort is amplified by approrioate timing and routines.

The Myths of Balance

Balance and especially work-life balance is a word almost everyone is familiar with. The mistake many make is that they think this means dividing our time equally between different activates. This thinking is wrong because all activates does not require the same amount of time. When it comes to balancing time between activates and important areas of our life, quality of time is more important than the quantity of time spent.

Instead of asking “Am I spending enough time on this activity?” we should be asking “When is the best time to focus on this activity?” 

There are all kinds of seasons in life. For example: season of education, season of sickness, season of health, season of rest or season of new beginnings. The problem many have is that they are trying to take on too many seasons at once. For example if you are in a season of sickness, then you shouldn’t maybe start a season of entrepreneurship.

Instead of asking “How can I fit more in?”, we should ask “What season(s) is my life in right now and what are the associated tasks I should be doing to maximaize the gains?” Don’t try to do everything you can in a day, but everything you should do in a day.

Instead of asking “How much can I get done today?”, we should ask “What is the most effective thing I can be doing right now with the time I have available?” This small shift can give big results.

One of the biggest ways we lose time and energy is thinking about where and what to do next. Having a schedule eliminates this issue. Being “on schedule” is a mindset and it means being where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing, when you are supposed to be doing it.

When we say “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have time”, it just means that the thing we are asked to do is not a priority. We should avoid using this as an excuse because the moment you say “I’m too busy” is the moment you stop thinking creativly.

Start to Monitor and Keep Track of Your Time

It’s recommended to have weekly goals on how much time we want to spend on each activity. This can for example be:

• Work: 50h/week
• Exercise: 3 times/week
• Sleep: 7h -8h/day
• TV and random internet: 10h/week

Then at the end of each day you write down how much time you spent on each activity. At the end of each week you review and see if met your goal and if there are any changes that need to be made. The reason for doing this is because what is monitored can be improved and that you don’t measure, you can’t manage.

Preparing For Setbacks

Your plan and schedule will inevitably not go perfectly. It’s therefore important to mentally prepare for these kind of setbacks. We should not be focus on results that are not within our control. We should instead focus more on the effort we put in and our work habits instead of the outcome.

You will almost always get paid for how hard you work, but it’s not always right away.

Our problem isn’t time management, but self management.

6. Faith

You need to have faith that the hard choices you make today will lead to good results in the future.

It’s common that we exaggerate how serious our problems are. A problem in context of today is a big problem but if we change our perspective and change the context to 5 years, then it becomes a small problem. If it doesn’t matter in 5 years, then we should think to much and be worried about it. So having a long-term perspective will allow us to make better decisions. Most of our decisions should be long-term based.

Disappointment and frustration is caused because we lack perspective. Everyone have had things turn out in a way they did not like or plan for. It probably felt bad when it happened but many times we can look back and say that it happened for the best. Afterwards we were probably a bit thankful because of the lessons learned. Changing our perspective into a more long-term one can make all difference.

You shouldn’t be to worried about results as long as you tried your best and did everything you could. The result is usually not within our control. If you tried your best and things still didn’t work out, then you can be sure that they were supposed to go the way they did.

We can never be sure how things are going to go. We don’t have the luxury or are entitled to knowing why things happen the way they do. Faith is simply believing that all things that happen to us, good or bad, is all part of a greater plan and helps us towards what we want to achieve in life. Things happen for us, not to us.

7. Action

Law of action: It does not matter what we say we believe, our real beliefs are reveled by how we act.

Do the most important and difficult task first thing in the morning. This will give you a lot of confidence that will carry you though the rest of the day. Don’t start with easy and unimportant work. It’s common that we do things that we think needs to be done or things that we feel like doing and not what actually needs to be done.

At the end of the day, there will be no results unless you take action. Change and results is the result of taking action. But before taking action, you need a vision for what your goals are and what you want your life to be like. Being able to develop a vison is a skill that is very important for long-term success. Your vision should be written down and be as specific as possible.

After the vision is completed you then need to connect it with activites that move you closer towards the vision. You then need to perform those activites everyday and make them part of your routine. Often ask yourself, “does this activity move me closer toward my vision?” When the connection between what we need to do and what we want to accomplish is strong, then it’s not difficult to take action.

Action cures fear. You are much more likely to act your way into healthy thinking than think your way into wanting to take action.

Often it is not making the wrong decision that has the greatest cost, but taking no action and choosing indecision that does.

The Law of Diminishing Intent

Our motivation, intention and willpower dimminishes over time. This is the reason why many new year resolutions fail. We can’t make one resolution per year and expect it to last. Instead, any resolution that is made today should be made again tomorrow.

3 Reasons Why We Procrastinate

Procrastination is one of the biggest reasons why we don’t achieve what we want. Here are the 3 main reasons why we procrastinate.

Fear

FEAR stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Fear is created by ourselves in our own mind. Fear is a fictional story created created by ourselves that is backed by what we think are reasonable and rational excuses. The reason why many people lose to fear is because it’s easier and more comfortable to give up on our dreams then to discipline ourselves and put in all the work needed. When we give up to fear we don’t have to work, try and challenge ourselves.

Action is the cure to fear. It’s ok to be scared, just do it scared. Taking action when you are scared is a skilled that can be trained. The more you do it, the easier it will become to take action when you are scared.

Entitlement

Many people get easily unmotivated and discouraged when things get difficult because they think they are entitled to a life that is supposed to be easy. We want other to solve our problems and do the work for us. But entitlement gets us nothing, only action does. An easy and comfortable life filled with fulfillment is the result of taking action and hard work. Entitlement is the end of achievement. Reject it.

Perfectionism

The main reasons for perfectionism is self-criticism and fear of mistakes. It feels safer to not start a challenging task because at least we know we won’t fail or make any mistakes. So instead we wait for the perfect time and circumstances. But the problem is that the perfect time never shows up. The solution is to understand this and take action regardless.

Find Accountability

We try harder, work harder and bounce back from disappointment faster when people we care about take interest in what we are doing. People excel the most with the support and interest of others around them.

Tasks To Do

1. Write down what you want your life to be like in 5 years. Be as specific as possible.
2. Make a list of all the things that are “should do’s” and identify which ones are important enough to be turned into “how will I do’s”.
3. Make a schedule of how your ideal week would look like now and how it would look like in 5 years.
4. Make a list of 5 things you could do right now that would move you closer towards your goals.