What Is a Perfectionist?
A perfectionist is a person that is looking for the things they do and the results they produce to be perfect. A perfectionist have high standards, unrealistic goals and are very self-critical. Having high standers and being self-critical are good things but perfectionist take it a bit too far. They also get triggered and feel like they need to fix things when things around them and things other people do does not meet their high standards. It’s common that perfectionists measure themselves and their own worth based on their work, accomplishments and the results they produce.
10 Reason Why You Should Stop Being a Perfectionist
1. Being a perfectionist can lead to a lot of overthinking which can cause stress, doubt, over criticising yourself and anxiety. This in turn will result in to that you become less productive and achieve less.
2. Perfectionist can have difficulties going from one project to another because they feel like the first project can be further improved. Even when everyone else agree on that the project is good enough. It can also lead to unnecessary arguments.
3. Perfectionist are not fully focused when they move to the other project because they keep thinking about the first project.
4. Perfectionist keep looking for faults and things to correct when in fact it was already good enough. The result is that they waste a lot of time and energy that could have been better spent in other places.
5. They overthink and worry too much of what others think of them because they feel like you need to appear perfect all the time.
6. They expect others to have the same high standers as them and will be disappointed when their standards are not met.
7. Perfectionist can be overly focused on the goal which leads to that they don’t enjoy the process as mush as the could.
8. They procrastinate on projects because of fear of failure or waiting for the conditions to be perfect. The thinking here is that if the conditions are not perfect then itt will fail so they never start.
9. You will have more time, more freedom, less worry and less stress if you stop having unrealistic goals and standards.
10. Perfectionists can have specific ways they want things to be done. If someone does it another way it’s unacceptable. Because of this they miss out on different and better ways to do things.
13 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist
1. Become aware that you might be a perfectionist. Then look for how it’s affecting your life and how your life could be improved if you stopped being a perfectionist.
2. You need to be ok with imperfection if you want to stop being a perfectionist. Understand that perfection is subjective and defined by yourself. Instead of being unsatisfied when it’s not perfect be happy when you have done a good job.
3. Choose improvement, progress and growth over perfection. Growth usually comes from struggling and doing difficult work, so rate yourself based on the total time doing these things.
4. Don’t feel pressure that you need to perform because of others. Don’t compare your results to others and don’t feel upset or sad when the results you have are not as good. Compare instead only to your own previous results.
5. Understand that perfectionism is not the same as trying to be your best. Being your best is about improvement, growth and long term thinking.
6. Catch yourself when you are being a perfectionist. Ask yourself often for example “Am I being a perfectionist now?” and “Am I focusing on what’s most important right now?”.
7. It can be that a person is a perfectionist because they are afraid of failure. They feel like if it’s not perfect, then it will fail. The solution is to understand and accept that everyone fails and that it’s ok to fail. See failure as a good learning opportunity. If you are a perfectionist, then your expectations of how good something needs to be is probably wrong.
8. Stop setting unrealistically high expectations for yourself and others. Instead aim for something that is good enough and of high quality. Understand that after a certain point the returns you get on your time invested becomes very small.
9. Focus on what’s important and less on what’s not important. If a project consists of 3 tasks for example X, Y and Z and Z is not important. Then we should not spend too much time and attention on Z.
10. Some people are perfectionists because they want praise, attention and validation from others. The solution is to stop looking for attention, praise and validation from others because it’s outside of your control.
11. If you have very high standards, then understand that the standards you have are not the same as other peoples standards and not what other people expect. So see your high standards as possibilities and not hard facts. If you want to know what other people expect then just ask them.
12. There are tasks that do require extra attention and they should be given the time they need. But stop overthinking and be ok with good enough and imperfection when doing small tasks. These are task that you have to do often and will not matter in the long run. This can for example be:
- House work – Such as when making your bed it does not have to be perfectly folded or when you clean the floor you don’t need to take every corner and square centimeter.
- Unimportant work – Such as answering unimportant email (as long as they understand what you mean it’s fine).
- Shopping – If you find something good, don’t look around and compare if you can find something a little better. It will just take a lot of time and energy.
- Editing photos – After a certain amount of editing a photo, more editing does not really make any difference.
13. Instead of measuring yourself and your worth based on your work, accomplishments and the results you produce. Measure yourself instead on your values such as being a good person and trying you best. If the result of something is out of your control then you shouldn’t be too bothered about it.
